Eventually we’re just gonna have to accept “ducking” as a swear word
sometimes you just need to relax;
sometimes you just need oral sex
(Source: pvriah, via the-end-is-kigh)
It may seem like I’m a sarcastic asshole 24/7, but I’m actually only a sarcastic asshole 18/7 because at night I actually have feelings.
did you know that bashing my music taste increases your chances of changing my opinion by 0%
(Source: exhaledoom, via crakhouse)
The next time a man starts yelling at you, cut him off and tell him you just can’t talk to him when he’s being so emotional.
I have done this and can confirm that is a LOT of fun to watch them implode afterward.
*dead but still has a boner*
(Source: landorus, via luneteen)
my dream is to see someone i know in porn
my life is one big “wow ok”
how do you get a nice body without moving
boys: if ur slutty enough to send a nude pic then u deserve to have it shared everywhere lmao
boys: please send me nudes baby you're so beautiful i just wanna see more of you please baby i thought you loved me
"Date someone who gives you the same feeling of when you see your food coming at a restaurant"
- THE REALEST THING I HAVE EVER READ (via disorder)
(Source: sarcasmfluently, via mikewazovvski)
it seems that everyone i’m friends with is better friends with someone else and that really fucking sucks